fix you up.

I don't know how to put this into words. But I'll try, since he did as well.

Life is just a funny thing. Remember the quote "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you gonna get" from the film Forrest Gump? I have always known that life works in its own mysterious ways. What you expect might not be what you get. So I tend to expect the worst of things to shield myself from the merciless twists and turns--through experience, people just get wiser and wiser, you know? In my case, yes, the bumps and cracks along the road have molded me into a wiser person, one who cocoons herself from the worst storms of life, but doesn't that also make one a coward? I have never realized that until I got to know him better. 

Truth to be told, I have known him for a year now. It feels like ages ago when I bumped into him outside that classroom one day. He succeeded to catch my attention because he was *or is* just.. different. I could not find a better word than 'different' because often, simple words are just more apt in describing the more perplexing 'phenomena' of the world. For me, he was and is just an entirely different species. Although it pains me to know that he has only known of my existence only recently, I do not regret how I have been enthralled by him since that day.

He has trust issues. The guy has MAJOR trust issues. Like, seriously, how do you get people to trust you if you don't even trust yourself? He doesn't even try because he just KNOWS he is doomed, condemned to a life of being a 'disappointment' to those besieging him. Yeah, he may be freaking out as he is reading these bold statements from me, but hey, I'm just being honest. A trait clearly liked by the guy (ironic). So it did bemuse me, how on earth does a guy who admits he is NOT to be trusted gains my trust so creepily easily? Seriously, despite my doubts and fears at first of the guy, I find myself trusting him. Completely. 

It's late, and my head's pretty cloudy. I have a lot more in my mind, but I just can't seem to construct any more proper sentences. 

To end this:

Dear somebody,

I trust you even if you deny yourself that luxury. 

And about that thing you said, the fear of the possibility that you might be harmful to me (psht. right. as if), finish reading the book I lent you, and I'll tell you my favorite quote--the one I told you about--which I hope might just change your mind and cast away that fear.
And I will wait. Like you are. Because we can never know where this might go. It may lead to nowhere. But I don't mind anymore because I trust you and therefore, all the insecurities, all my fears are just.......vanquished!

the girl you despised once upon a time. =D